ON MY OWN!
The person in the next cubicle came around and said “Hi” and “What are you doing for lunch?”.
I was sad the day she left the organisation. I didn’t go to work to socialise. But it sure made my days brighter having at least one person I trusted with more than my ‘game face’.
As it turns out, feeling lonely at work is pervasive. Plus it’s linked to withdrawal from work, lower productivity, motivation and performance. We don’t want that.
While feeling lonely is personal, it’s not a private concern.
If you sense someone is lonely – kindness and ordinary civility can make a really big difference:
- Say hello and give them the duchenne smile (that’s the real smile where your eyes are smiling too)
- Ask them how they are and take the time to listen to what they say.
- Ask them what they’re doing for lunch (I know that one works).
If you’re feeling lonely then try the steps above too. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t hide behind the idea that you don’t come to work to socialise. A lot of people don’t and it’s not about that. We have different needs for human connection that matter at work too, such as validation or a sense of belonging.
I know it’s tricky if you work virtually or your team is dispersed.
I know it’s not cool as a leader to show vulnerability at work.
AND I know how important it is to have a safe space to share your fears and concerns about your performance and your future…
- to work out what’s not working;
- to work out where you want to be; and
- to work out how to get there.
We may like the idea of sorting these things out on our own but no one can. And no one does.
Get yourself a coach, a mentor, a sponsor, a mastermind group… something. Because, as they say… “You’re worth it!”
Michelle
