Any of these sound familiar?
- You’ve got that presentation to deliver. The deadline is looming and you still haven’t started.
- You sat silently and watched Chris manoeuvre his way into getting the job you wanted.
- You know you’re capable of more, but you’re not doing more.
If yes, then you’re probably a master at something you don’t want to be a master of:
Getting in your own way.
Stephen Pressfield calls it resistance. “Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.” Others call it self-defeating behaviour. Self-sabotage. A lack of confidence. Not believing in yourself. Avoidance. Procrastination. Delay tactics.
It doesn’t matter what you call it. But it does matter that you call it. Because when you can name it, know what it is and acknowledge it to yourself, then you can start to do something about it.
Getting in your own way takes many forms. Yours may be obvious to you, or so sneaky that you’re not quite sure.
Here are ten ways you can get in our own way, of course there are more:
- Fear. Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real. This makes you more focussed and fearful about what could go wrong rather than what could go right.
- Lack. You’re acutely aware of what’s lacking, so that’s what you think about rather than what you want and how you could get it.
- Hiding. You’re afraid that you’re not good enough or simply not enough, that you hide out and hold yourself back. You don’t even try.
- Judged. You’re so afraid you’ll be judged and then rejected or abandoned that you don’t take action.
- Stuck. You’re looking at problems or your current situation circumstances instead of possibilities and focussing on your vision.
- Undeserving. Deep down you may feel you don’t deserve to get ahead or succeed.
- False limits. You have limits on how far you can go or on how you can get there (and assume before you know for sure that you’ll have to work even harder and do things you hate).
- False You. You think you’ll have to become somebody else to succeed and may even resent or judge people who have.
- Don’t dare to dream. You haven’t been clear enough on what you want and maybe you’ve never even given yourself permission to make it happen.
- Don’t believe you’re worth it. When you have the opportunity to invest in yourself (training, mentor, etc.) you say you can’t afford the time or the money.
Do any of these ring true for you?
I’d love to hear about how you get in your own way. Hit reply and let me know.
Next week I’ll talk about how to start stopping getting in your own way!