Are you a slave to servant leadership? It isn't about giving and giving and giving. Here's an example of getting it wrong. Jane (not her real name) was at the end of her tether. She'd busted her guts to get everyone nice, new office furniture. Nearly everyone was grateful. And they let Jane know: Thank you, this is so much better. It feels good to come here now. It looks nice and is comfortable too. With one exception. Betty. As usual, nothing seems to please her. Instead, … [Read more...]
Don’t be like John – it’s smart to take a break
Last week I was talking to my client Betty (not her real name), She's very successful in a highly competitive creative industry here in Australia. Lamenting, she says: “This is the first time in 10 years that I’ve gone off-grid for a full 2 weeks. I knew I was tired, I didn’t realise how tired!” It’s only when you stop that you discover how tired you really are. Are you like Betty, finding it hard to take big chunks of time off? Betty’s current solution is to take every second Friday off. … [Read more...]
How to give feedback successfully
My Mum used to say “positive, positive, negative, positive”. It’s a variant of the once popular feedback sandwich – with its simpler “positive, negative, positive” formula. Of course my Mum also taught me the avoid saying anything approach: “if you don’t have a kind word to say, don’t say it”. All designed to not hurt anyone’s feelings. But what’s a boss to do? If someone isn’t measuring up, he/she needs to know about it. It’s not a matter of not hurting someone’s feelings. Pragmatism … [Read more...]
Do You Want To Make Better Decisions?
At what age should you marry? My friend’s daughter is 19. She’s getting married next month. Religious Jews marry young. Everyone is delighted. Her older sister did the same thing. She was a mother at 20! I wished her Mazeltov. Still, I wondered…how do you make such a big decision? At the tender young age of 19! Then I thought how do you make any decision? Especially for leaders. After all, a leader is only as good as the decisions he or she makes. My client John sits on a … [Read more...]
Dreams Do Come True!
Betty knew there was nothing more that she could do. She’d said ‘yes’. She prepared. She practiced. Her only job now is to stay strong, grounded and present. Connected with her body. That’s a lot when you’re nervous with anticipation. This was Betty’s first public speaking gig! She was standing on the sidelines waiting for her name to be called. Pam Slim’s right. Presenting is a full contact sport. So Betty did what she could. She box breathed. Box breathing helps you manage … [Read more...]
This Is For You If You Hate Confrontation
You bound into the office, buoyed from a client win. Betty is the only one there, manning the phones. She pouts and gives you, her boss, the look. The ‘Ask Me What’s Wrong’ look. The ‘I’m about to ruin your good mood’ look. Manning the phones is part of Betty’s role. That’s not it. You cave. You: “What’s wrong?” Betty: “I don’t feel well”. You think to yourself: What? That’s it? Is she five years old? Why can’t she hold it together for a minute and ask me why I’m happy? And … [Read more...]
Doing everything right and getting nowhere
It’s an awful feeling. When you’re doing everything right, and getting nowhere. I see this a lot. Fantastic staff, working hard, but always flying under the radar when it comes time for a promotion. Take my client Betty*. She was great at her job. A senior manager role in her area came up. She thought she was a shoe-in. Instead, the company made Betty’s role redundant and they hired someone else for the position. What went wrong? Sometimes, being great at your job just … [Read more...]
It’s the End of An Era
Today was my last day with Leya the Intern. Endings always make me sad. When Leya first came on board I wasn’t sure if it was going to work out or not. We both took a risk. From my PhD research, I knew the first day would be critical. The welcome you give makes a surprising difference to their success. So I put aside the whole first day for Leya. Explained her role, answered all her questions, went through how things are done around here and got her started on some meaningful … [Read more...]
When Negative Emotions Are Positive…
When was your first stint at leadership? Mine was when I was 11 years old. My Mum had to run to the shop for some missing ingredient and I was left in charge of my younger siblings. Normally my older brother would be in charge but he wasn’t home. I was terrified. What if something bad happened? I was relieved when Mum came home but none-the-wiser. I told myself: "that was lucky" and "I was only put in charge because Mum had no other choice". It never occurred to me that … [Read more...]
Is it Business or Personal?
Go figure! Thanks to LinkedIn, I've reconnected with my kindergarten boyfriend (KB). My parents called him that. Our Dads were friends (I think they were hopeful). Down one of those hip Melbourne laneway hideaways, over a latte, just last week we picked up where we left off. A lot of years have gone by and it was great to see him. KB’s had a brilliant career. But being CEO can be pretty stressful too. I had to ask... Most recently it was when his company merged with a listed … [Read more...]
