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Feeling invisible despite success Diana had finally made it to the Executive Leadership Team. She expected that reaching this level would mark a turning point in her career. Instead, she felt disheartened. In meetings, her contributions were often overlooked. Her carefully prepared pre-reading went unread. Decisions moved on without reference to what she had raised. She felt invisible. It wasn’t hard to understand why she found herself thinking, Why do I even bother? The toll it takes Over time, this took a toll. Diana was deeply committed to her work, but the repeated experience of being overlooked made her emotionally reactive. Small slights landed hard. Criticism lingered longer than it should have. She described it like this: I’d internalise it, agonise over it, and let it ruin my mood for days. I was unhappy, and it showed. It began to affect how she showed up with her team and colleagues. Not deliberately. But the frustration leaked out. When this happens, people often get stuck in a cycle. The more unseen they feel, the more effort they put in. The more effort they put in, the more depleted and reactive they become. When trying harder makes it worse Feeling guilty about

‘White anting’ is an Australian term. According to the Macquarie Dictionary, the verb means ‘to subvert or undermine from within’. What is white anting? Its namesake, the wood-eating white ant (aka a termite), can’t survive in the open. That’s why you don’t usually see any sign of these pests until it’s too late. When you discover the serious damage they’ve caused. One of my coaching clients had this inkling she was being white anted by one of her peers. Please take that gut feel seriously. Leaders often seek executive coaching at this point, not because the behaviour is dramatic, but because it’s subtle, deniable, and corrosive over time. That peer, The White Ant was doing a mighty fine job of being just that, a white ant. The White Ant had their mutual boss under her thumb. And that meant my client was being denied resources, recognition and, potentially, reputation. As you can imagine, sometimes the harder part is working out what you’re actually seeing. I’ve written more about that here. Managing these pests So, how did my client survive with her integrity and sanity intact? With support, here’s what she made sure she did consistently: Her job, completing the projects

Nobody ever wants to tell someone they smell. Yet the other day at work, Lisa (not her real name), a Masters of Organisational Psychology placement student working with me, found herself in exactly that situation. One of the reception staff at her part-time workplace arrived smelling strongly of body odour. Other staff had already started whispering and keeping their distance. She could see how quickly things were heading in the wrong direction. Doing nothing wasn’t really an option. The problem with not saying anything When situations like this are left alone, a few things tend to happen. The person doesn’t know why people are avoiding them.Colleagues deal with it indirectly, through gossip or discomfort.Customers notice, and quietly decide not to stay. Avoiding the conversation doesn’t prevent harm. It just spreads it around. What Lisa did Lisa pulled the staff member aside and said: Can I speak to you privately for two minutes? I know this will be uncomfortable, but I need to tell you that you have an odour. He went bright red and said: Oh my gosh. Do I? Lisa replied: Yes. I’m telling you because if it were me, I’d want someone to tell me. You could see