Last weekend I felt the wash of shame. It was while having lunch with my Mum and about 12 of her tennis pals after their game.

A glass of unordered champagne arrives.

I look up bewildered and Lou who’s on the other side of me says: “It’s from me. I’ve brought us all champagne to celebrate my new knee”.

We toast the titanium and rubber.

We chat about the knee for a while. It’s amazing to think that Lou’s walking again, in less pain and it’s not even two weeks since the replacement.

Then Mum and I talk about where we’ll go for an upcoming family birthday celebration (mine). You’d think that was bad enough.
Discussing something that excludes everyone around us.

It gets worse.

We put our smartphones to work and started surfing where to go.
At the table.

That was until I was shocked out of my selfish, surfing vortex.
Lou eventually said: “It’s very rude”.

She was right. Shame washed over me.

It’s not just at lunch. That vortex of distraction and the challenge to stay focussed and present is ever present and everywhere.

There’ll never be enough time for everything.

Let alone energy and bandwidth.

So why is it that some people achieve so much more than others?
They only have 24 hours a day too.

It’s no big secret. They stay focussed and present on their most important goals.

In other words, you need to decide what to say ‘No’ to.
You may not want to choose but this is a very important decision.

Actually it’s a never-ending series of decisions.
There’ll always be something else that looks good to do.

Or to eat (Why do you think I don’t keep any milk chocolate at home?)
Or to wear (Why does Barrack Obama only wear gray or blue suits?)

All those decisions are exhausting. Will power depletes. So make it easier for yourself.

Warren Buffet suggests you pick the top 5 goals and ignore the rest.

Put them on your Don’t Do list.
Actually make the rest your Absolutely Must Not Do list.

That’s if you want to stay on track, not get overwhelmed and achieve your most important goals… in a way that’ll make you (and everyone you care about) proud.

Otherwise you’ll end up with a bunch of not your best work. Or a pile of unfinished projects. And possibly a burnt out shell of your former self. Nobody wants that. Including your boss.

But mostly you. That’s if you’re anything like my clients, lets call them Jim and John and Jody… yes the list goes on.

Over to you…

Do you know what should stay on your To Do list? Your Big 5?
And what’s going on your Don’t Do list?

This one isn’t easy. But as the saying goes, you’re worth it.