I can’t believe that it was five years ago that I was called in for a follow-up.
“It’s usually nothing”, the kind lady at the end of the phone told me. “It’s common after your first mammogram.”
She meant to reassure me.
I was kind of numb. I walked into the hospital and just did whatever they asked.
A more targeted mammogram? …Sure.
An ultrasound? …Ok.
A bioposy? …Now I’m scared.
I didn’t need to wait the week for the results. It wasn’t just the escalation of tests. Their body language told me. It was written on their faces. So much of what we communicate doesn’t need words.
Still, they said that the results from the biopsy take a week.
For a week I told myself they might be wrong. I might be wrong. I want to be wrong.
So today is an especially special day. I got the all clear (again). I’m feeling emotional and grateful.
It’s been 5 years. It’s a major milestone in Cancer-land.
I don’t think I really understood vulnerability before. There is something about this anniversary and remembering that always brings tears to my eyes. I can’t help it.
I have them now.
Tears of gratitude:
- For my family and friends.
- For my doctors and our medical system.
- For BCNA, the Cancer Council, the Look Good…Feel Better program – all those strangers who provide so much support.
- For the fellow sufferers on Twitter and blogs who gave me hope. Strangely their writing brought me joy. Expressions like:
- Slash, poison and burn.
- There’s nothing pink about it.
- Scanxiety.
- Chemobabe’s: “You feel like hell. You don’t have to look like it”.
Today… for that being my past.
And to you. Thank you for letting me into your inbox each week. I appreciate it.
Normally I link whatever I talk about to the workplace. I could talk about using body language to your advantage, the positive influence of gratitude at work, getting through and thriving after a crisis, etc.
For today, though, more poignantly (and relevant) is Freud’s notion that love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
Apparently when asked what is more important, Freud said “and”.
That’s why work/life integration makes more sense to me than work/life balance. It’s not that we work to live. Or live to work. It’s not ‘either/or’. It’s ‘and’.
So at this time of year, I hope you are able to look back over 2014 and feel you have integrated work and life in a way that is right for you.
And if not, I hope you are making changes (one small step at a time) so that in 12 months time it will be a very different story for you. If not, schedule a strategy call with me today.
I wish you a healthy and happy holiday season and a wonderful new year.
