The CEO ripped into Kate in front of the leadership team and their direct reports. By the time he finished, Kate was crying. In front of everyone.
Nobody stopped him.
Sarah reported directly to Kate and held a senior role just below the C-suite. She had been in the organisation only a few months, still learning how it worked and trying to establish herself. She said nothing. The people in the room with far more authority than Sarah let the meeting carry on.
Kate at least did something for herself. She later asked the CEO to apologise. He did, both privately and publicly.
But it didn’t stop him. Not long after, in another meeting, he did it again.
Another leader humiliated someone
Around the same time, something similar happened in another part of the organisation.
Marcus, another senior leader at Sarah’s level, publicly humiliated one of his direct reports at a meeting of his whole team. The man went on sick leave and never returned.
It didn’t take long for Sarah to hear about it.
But what was she supposed to do? Marcus didn’t report to her. Nor did the man he had humiliated. Unlike Kate, he did not have the seniority or experience to challenge Marcus himself.
Sarah raised it with a couple of peers. They agreed something should be done. Someone suggested Marcus owed the man an apology.
Nobody knew who should tell him. Nobody volunteered.
It was becoming a pattern
One senior leader losing control once could have been put down to a bad moment under pressure.
But the CEO apologised and did it again. Then Marcus humiliated someone in another part of the organisation.
The incidents weren’t identical. But they were similar enough: a powerful person humiliating someone in public and the meeting carried on.
Many of the people there may have been appalled. No one stopped either leader in the room.
Sarah weighed speaking up
Nobody told Sarah to stay silent. Nobody told her what to do either.
Speaking up might have helped. It might also have changed nothing and affected her job, reputation, relationships or career in ways she couldn’t predict.
Staying out of it protected her from that uncertainty. The organisation had made the trade-off hers.
That is why silence at work is so easily misread. It can look like agreement, indifference or a lack of courage. It can also be a decision about whether speaking up will help and what it may cost if it doesn’t.
The cost stayed hidden
Marcus stayed. The man he had humiliated went on sick leave, never returned and was later made redundant.
Sarah stayed for another two years and kept delivering. She and several of her peers had also spent time and energy trying to work out what, if anything, they should do.
On paper, the work was getting done. What doesn’t show is how much all of this was taking from the people doing it.
If you’re weighing whether to speak up in a difficult situation at work, executive coaching gives you a confidential place to think it through before deciding what to do.
Image by Alexa from Pixabay.
