What people see and what you secretly feel

Sneaking carrots. I’ve affectionately called these guinea pigs Erving and Goffman – for introducing me to the idea of front stage and back stage all those years ago.

Are you one of those people who others tell their secrets to?

More than average lately, people have been sharing their warning signs with me, that things are beginning to crack. That their front stage ‘positive, polite and professional at all times’ self is at risk.

Backstage, here’s what’s really going on:

• A pain in their gut.
• Waking up in the middle of the night.
• Comfort eating.
• If someone burgled the house they wouldn’t even know, it’s such a mess.

Who would know? That’s why it’s backstage. For now. The plan is to stop it getting on stage, and then to get it off stage completely.

When what people see is more and more at odds with what you secretly feel, it’s time to get some extra support. It’s executive coaching for my clients – because the cause is work-related.

Whatever it is, the way forward is to not go it alone. Rather, to know yourself well enough to realise that it’s time to put up your hand and get the help you need. Ideally, before you’re waking up in the middle of the night.

Personally, I know things are starting to go off track when the dishes are piling up. What are your early warning signs? Scroll down to let me know.

Photo by Bonnie Kittle on Unsplash